Look with Compassion

(An unexpected take away from a course. Timing could be everything.)

The past week was spent sharing, discussing, reflecting on peace practice, conflict sensitivity, do no harm in Barcelona, Spain, together with participants from different parts of the world who are working in different peacebuilding and conflict transformation programs and projects or implementing humanitarian assistance interventions.

I will not be telling you something about the training. Rather, allow me to share about some discoveries and inspiration I got from the training venue. Our training course information sheet describes our training venue, Sant Felip Neri House as “a convent, training venue and retreat located in a beautiful and quiet setting within the ever active city of Barcelona. Surrounded by a garden, it is one of the Modernist buildings giving name to the neighbourhood of Tres Torres de Sarrià, in the northern part of the city.”

I found it strange that on my first night in Sant Felip Neri House, I dreamt about the aging nuns and one young nun who was telling me something about Mama Maria. At 3AM, I was awakened with this dream in my mind. There are indeed aging nuns living in Sant Felip Neri House but I did not see any young nun. How could I have dreamt of the nuns whom I have met only when I arrived to leave my luggage and when I checked in? It was a strange dream since it was my first time in this place. But I realized later, that my room was nearest to the grotto of the Virgin Mary.

The retreat house is modest but what stood out for me were its garden and the meditation room. To have a training in a hotel in the middle of the city would have made our nights more exciting, however, a venue far away from the madding crowd, suited me well since I found the place stress-free – even if we were discussing daily a case study about a violent conflict situation. Perhaps we needed a venue such as this to be able to go back to center – all the time – that is, to focus more, to weave into the training course – a sense of stillness, of peace – as we reflect on topics that are not, in real life, as easy as just reading the case.

Birds of Paradise in the garden of Sant Felip Neri House

During breaks, we would go outside and enjoy the fresh air and warm rays of the sun. This was definitely a good opportunity, not only to have a more relaxed space for our mid-morning and afternoon snacks. Going out contributed, I think, to the friendly and warm atmosphere among all participants, who came from different countries and continents.

Then, there was the meditation room, which I visited everyday. It is rare for hotels and resorts to have this amenity. What surprised me was that in Sant Felip Neri House, the meditation room had at the center table the statue of Buddha and an icon of Jesus Christ. OMG – I could not help but say this!

I have been joining Buddhism teachings and meditation sessions since 2010 of the New Kadampa Tradition in Manila and attended two NKT Festivals in Singapore and Portugal.  I could still say I am a Catholic and appreciate the values I learned from the gospels, but I have also learned to appreciate the depth of the Buddhist teachings. Thus, to see the Buddha and Jesus Christ – together in the meditation room was for me, a very pleasant, happy surprise.

I have never seen them placed on the same altar or table in a prayer or meditation room. Having seen them together, made me realize – why I was in this course. I now feel more at ease with having to integrate both – Christianity and Buddhism – in my personal journey. I sometimes felt guilty that I am – joining Buddhist ceremonies and once in awhile still hearing mass. When I was younger, I already entertained the idea of the unity of all religions (although I know that Buddhism is not considered a religion the way we understand this term). 

Statue of Buddha and icon of Jesus Christ on the altar

In the mornings, at 7AM, a group practicing Zen Buddhism, held meditations. I participated twice and when I missed these meditation sessions, I would go to the meditation room to try to quiet my mind before the course starts. My mind is a busy mind – and this does not help me to focus on the present moment or to discover the important message for me in the here and now. Thus, I relished the moments I had to stay and try to be still in the meditation room.

When I go upstairs to have my meals, just before entering the dining area, one will see a mirror, which has a reminder at the bottom, which says: “mira con compassion” or in English, “look with compassion.”  That was another OMG – moment for me…

How often do we really look in the mirror and then feel and think compassionately about the person we see? Perhaps, never in one day. Or perhaps at times, when we are distraught or having problems, we think about having compassion for ourselves. I must admit I never considered the mirror – as reminding me to have compassion for myself. However, it was through the NKT song “Liberating Prayer” – that I really felt the need for self-compassion. (Check this website for the lyrics: http://kadampa.org/buddhism/prayer-to-buddha)

Look with compassion.

If I remember correctly, it was in 2011 while I was listening to the Liberating Prayer in a meditation session, that I could not stop my tears from flowing – having realized that I must have compassion for myself. This realization opened my heart to embracing myself more sincerely, accepting my limitations and whatever wrongs I may have done.

I will forever remember this - Mira con compasion. Look with compasion.

There were also tai chi exercises on Wednesdays and Fridays. I joined the session once. In one of the movements, we followed the guide – as he asked us to place our palms on our heart – and to massage our heart gently. This made my tears flow again – as I am reminded that many times, we experience heartaches but we do not even take notice of our heart. I have seen close relatives whose hearts are being physically massaged since they are having a hard time breathing. Why do we have to wait for moments like these before we even take notice of our heartaches? Our hearts deserve the attention we so carelessly devote on not so important things. 

So from that day and onward, I have to remind myself to massage my heart gently. I must take notice of the aches and pains of my heart. I will pay attention to the needs of my heart. I must listen to the whisperings of my heart.

I came to Barcelona to attend a course on “practical tools for promoting positive change in complex contexts.”  

Perhaps the practical tools for promoting change – starts with taking care of myself – and to do this, I must remind myself often, daily when I look at myself in the mirror – “Look with compassion” and “massage your heart”…

So I went home with these two messages in my mind and heart and soul…

At the entrance of the Sant Felip Neri House

On my first night in Manila (which was last night), as I was walking in a mall here in Makati, I chanced upon a concert entitled "Under the Olive Tree" which was about to start. I got curious and attended the concert spontaneously - since there were still tickets available and I decided to forgo all other plans I had for the night.

I was pleasantly surprised because the concert theme was about war and peace. In the concert program, the director described the concert as: "A man fell to the ground...all under the olive tree" - a powerful play of irony about violence and brutality, was penned by Stephen Spender in his poem, A Stopwatch and an Ordnance Map. This encapsulates the themes and rhetoric, which inspired this concert program. Now on it's 4th season, Aleron (the choral group) wishes to explore humanity's predilection for conflict and accord, what divides us and what unites us: War and Peace."

The performers were an all male Filipino choral group Aleron (meaning, the winged one) which recently won the grand prize in the 10th Busan Choral Festival and Competition in South Korea in 2014 and overall winner in the 31st Takarazuka International Chamber Chorus Contest in 2015. (For more about Aleron, here is their website: http://aleronchoir.com/about/.)

They sang the song composed by Samuel Barber and penned by Stephen Spender "A Stopwatch and an Ordnance map" - which according to the program text: "the reality of people driven to conflict is what provoked Stephen Spender, who witnessed first-hand the atrocities of the Spanish Civil War."

They also sang Estonian composer, Veljo Tormis's "Raua Needmine" (Curse Upon Iron) to remind us of the persistent power of man to destroy.

Further they sang William Byrd's "Civitas Sancti Tui" (Your Holy City Has Become A Wilderness) and "Ne Irascaris Domine" (Be Not Angry, Lord).  As described in the concert program, these pieces are part of a “collection of non-liturgical sacred music, traditionally viewed as a repudiation of the Catholic persecution during the English Reformation. Old testament themes of salvation combined with austere counterpoint paints a world so desolated and forlorn.” Both pieces ask for “mercy and forgiveness.”

To highlight the importance of the night - evoking the concept of peace when we are at rest, they sang, "Nachtlied" by the german composer Max Reger and "Nacht, O Wesen" (Good night, existence) by Johann Sebastian Bach...And many more...

It was my first night in Manila, and this concert echoed beautifully the topics that were covered in the course I attended. The concert even focused on "what divides us and what unites us" (which are aptly describing two key do no harm concepts: dividers and connectors)....

While listening to the concert pieces melodiously sang by the choir - I was, in my mind, sending well wishes to the children in conflict zones in South Sudan, other parts of Africa, Asia and elsewhere around the world.

I thought while in the concert - that once one has embraced non-violence as a way of life, there is no turning back....

I highly recommend this concert – as it is still showing tonight at the Iglesia De San Ignacio, Arzobispo Street, Intramuros, Manila. If you can’t make it tonight, grab the chance to watch any of their concerts in the future. Their evocative rendition will bring you highs and lows and make you appreciate more the gift of songs and the human voice.

The meaningful flow of events from the course to the concert theme that fits perfectly with the course topics – teaches me these lessons…

Timing could be everything.

Listen to the calling of the moment.
Try dropping everything.

Before I go, I want to share with you some photos I took on a short tour of the city. This was my second time in Barcelona so most of these shots are about aspects of the city that attracted me, not about the usual things that tourists would take photos of.